Behind The Twig

Back, from the hairy grave

2010-05-04T00:12:00.003+08:00

Oddly enough, as it might seem rather untimely to the common folk of any such region, I have grown a very muchfulness in this lapse. And am quite very, in congruently different like a spider is to a giraffe or a pebble and a piece of cheese. Yes, I look back and remember all my adventures and hold them closer than i could have premonitioned in my sleep. It is strange, not to tell the least, but people do change and forgetting is a habit probably worth forgetting to do, a trick worthy only to a very brave few. But remembering who i was and who i am is really quite helpful in deciding who i will be. and even if no one ever read my blogs, i thank the world for letting me express my uniquely twisted mind in a way that it was thought of being popularized in the greatness of itself. the world not myself haha. Thank you and goodnight

It's Nearly Here

2006-08-13T13:09:00.000+08:00

I've contrasted it with the old and the new and a few bits extra. Love it now mkay :)

No I'm Still Alive

2006-08-13T03:07:00.000+08:00

I have vetured so far as to really come close to completing the first half or possibly 3rd of the Twiggy mini short movie. I have a name and it looks better than that failing attempt below. Shut your eyes, don't burn them with filth!

Ok bye

Making My Life All The Merrier. Live It With Me.

2006-07-17T02:03:00.000+08:00

And Ash, I wrote some more about you on my other site http://midgetsoup.blogspot.com

Do The Crabs Really Walk In That Way?

2006-07-07T02:21:00.000+08:00

Lisa Are You Even Looking?

Seal It In A Gate

2006-07-04T14:33:00.000+08:00

I saw the sign. I opened up my eyes and it was blinding. There, right there in the front of my position. I looked up at the sky to see it's peak. I twisted my neck from side to side when sapping in it's girth. "Seal Safari" were words not many would speak. But I did. I journied across the great lands and over a volcano (true stuff, not fib like tales). All so I could spend but a short 30 minutes with the seals. First came a sea lion. It was huge and round. It's head was bobing round in the strangest but most familiar way. That perculier movement did make out like a bird looking with it's eye. The sea lion said, "I see you there hiding fishies in your pocket!" But I dare not move. It weighed so much fat, I would have been flatter than Freemans Chest! But not to worry, I saw another one. That's right, I was so lucky, I saw it with my eyes. A Californian sea lion was next. Not as good looking as the previous sea merchant, but slick none the less. But it was even more my lucky day for I did sea a third seal all up and close like - An exquisite looking New Zealand Fur Seal. I love that one. But don't think I cheat you with stories and untruth's, no. I would dare to do no such thing. I touched it. That's the Kettles Knees for ya isn't it!

Shift The Plain Against The Fall.

I Hit It!

2006-06-20T15:51:00.000+08:00

700 different people did finally visit my other site. It is a miling stone I never thought I could catch! Amazing, I must admit, I knew it would just blast away and reel in everyone. Of course I said loopy loops with blackberry jam. Who are you to question my beadle neck mouse pad?

I Can't Wait For This One

2006-06-20T12:46:00.000+08:00

I Think I Always Knew You'd End Up My Ex-Girlfriend WAH OH!

Lisa, Does It Scare You?

2006-06-14T01:07:00.000+08:00

Dolly Demise (Teaser)

2006-06-11T14:20:00.000+08:00

She wants to play...with YOU!

Violated Innocence

2006-06-04T19:34:00.000+08:00

No longer so innocent, I was violated without my approval. I lay there asleep, but it was there too. Sleeping with me it entered all my crevices. Traversing all my grooves, my skin violated by it's filthy touch. I woke up to find it attacking. Like there was no nearer excuse, it tried to rape me. That spider was in for it. I got out the fast knockdown and I murdered that beastly demon. I was molestered by an eight legged monstrosity, and Lisa wasn't there to save me. I sucked it up and went full on assault. Approaching from afar, I sprayed that dirty devil minion and forced it's life from it's cold, dead, breathless carcass of germs and other carnivorous things that can't be reproached by any other thing.

Touch It With A Pear.

Getting the Betterness Is A Fight I'm Gonna Win

2006-06-03T12:49:00.000+08:00

I'm getting better. Woke up to find my muscles and joints still in the aching modes, but at least I'm not filled with snot anymore. Still coughing though....not happy.

I'm slowly getting over the trashiness of X3. That trash really stank like that weird blue cheese and well, all cheeses infact, it was bad! But I'm getting over it; mostly because I'm beginning to trick myself into believing that it went down like I think it shoulda in my petition (last post). Yep. I'm remembering it all, like a movie in my head and I see it working and it makes me feel better.

Just don't know what to do with myself, Exams are coming up and I am in the zone...of procrastination lol.

I don't know what this post is really about, but I thought I'd update just for the sake of it. Watch my vids at my other blog (If The Pen Had Ears). I wanna update that again, but it might be next week before I can get to that. Bye

XMEN 3... It Was Trash

2006-05-31T12:33:00.000+08:00

I am appalled at the lame attempt at creating a sequel for the X-Men films. Sign the awesome petition below:

http://www.petitiononline.com/25052006/petition.html

Sign it and make them pay for this trash they (the studios) released.

You don't have to read it all, just sign it.

Thems The Devil's Children

2006-05-26T11:30:00.000+08:00

It Tasted So Foul

2006-05-25T22:51:00.000+08:00

Lisa knew not of what they were. I thought it couldn't happen. But she pushed it forward through her unclenched teeth. Who is this woman? Does anyone recognise the trauma? I see the picture, but it's not all the same inside I say. She pushed these "Chicken" sticks into her mouth as chowed down on them. Admitting they were dirty and tasted unlike any chicken she'd ever tasted, I tasted it too. She told no lip-locked secrete lie. In fact they were so dirty, I almost puked, there, on the lawn of the uni right near a lonely professor Lisa has a crush on. Yes, she thinks he's in the hotting up for her n stuff. I think, just calm-it-down already. Anyways, I discovered the pure essence of those dirty sticks. There were no chicken. That monstrous midget-troll hybrid lady did squeeze so hard and long to extract her pimmple's pus and then deep fried it! She is beyong reproach. I was then able to push my germ-phobia aside and suck taste the on Lisa's coke for I truely needed to rid my buds of those untastey treats.

2006-05-22T12:03:00.000+08:00

Still sick. but it's getting better. Still Not Happy Jan about it though. Got some flem now, oh it's so marvellous...not.

Bye

I'm Sick Ok

2006-05-19T18:18:00.000+08:00

I've got the sickness
It's scratching at my feet.
Don't speak to a tree,
Not unless it feels the beat.

Stick it to a Turtle,
Lay down with a sloth.
Moss grows in the breeze
But so does the moth.

I say to you the missing one
How can there be life
But nothing makes it worthy
And a teddy takes a swipe.

Believe in it below
You shall seek the evil ears
But if you fool the day
You will only have tears.

By Brad Westphal (c) 2006

Holy Hell No!

2006-05-17T10:43:00.000+08:00

I was whipped fowards and lashed back. There, in the matter of the seconds I had experienced my first real crash. No I wasn't the cause; don't give me those looks, I was the passenger thank you so very much for thinking my learner-ish-ness would be the sole cause. Still not happy, but anyway, Lisa was cruising along and I noticed that other car. Thinking they would stop, wouldn't they?? Well hell no, they just kept rolling, just kept rolling, just kept rolling, rolling rolling, thats what they did, they rolled, rolled rolled. And #@!CRASH!@# Lisa had a big bump in her frontal regions. of course the BullBar made sure that other car was bearly even scratched. Skanky old prune with it's BlingBling dangling. Simply reacting more than 2 seconds after I realised the whole truths "Oh, No! (sigh)" he said. Then had the nerve to say, "I didn't see you, were you there?" Of course we were you snailing old geezer! What kind of retarded snail would snail trail it's way across the road? Yeah, your supposed to use the accelerator to go faster, not drive at 5 Kmph! Snail! i think he was doing 8Kmph because we were unable to react in time. I did feel my heads fake wig part flomp forward and it was scary because I thought I was there with a now open head. (No I don't have a wig, I say the part top of the head that can move all wig like)

Stalkers For You And Me

2006-05-15T15:18:00.000+08:00

Unanounced they sat there. Across the road staring at me. I knew not of their decended precence. I knew only of the tauma to come. And they sat there in the bushes, snorkling through the leaves. I went for the test; so nervous I thought I'd fail. I said I'm sorry cos the car somehow it did stall. Still gawking hard, They saw me leave. Like a running chicken, they kept up with the fleas. Bouncing high above so I could not see. I turned my head and checked the way, it was clear. i turned the car and zoomed away, I thought of the things I had to do. But trailing behind, my stalker, stuck like glue. She zipped and dipped, in and out. The crevices hide her twigness, like the canyon holds the tea. Blissfully unawares I completed the test. But to thyne tearful surprise, I guess I'll never pass. One day I'll be old and crippled and in the mail i'll recieve; Some plastic card, only to be remove because of my aging ways. No old people on the roads, Not for you, no way. But then I discovered the truth. She was watching then. i knew she was the curse. The curse of uneven paraleythigrams. Yes. It was she, the Shadow in the Corner. At The Centre She saw and stalked me. i refuse, I said, and no way to that. Slapping the book right back.

Don't Fret, The Scorn Is Not Going.

I Did Do A Little Slip

2006-05-15T10:36:00.000+08:00

You probably don't know or you do? I wouldn't ever know I don't believe. You don't speak to my ears, but my face...you are weird. I'm back to the point. I think it makes sense to do both and saw what I said as me and myself. I am both you know. Yes. So I will try the time and make the posting double. Double you say, there is but only one. Use your eyes ever so wisely and they will weep, for that thing you thought forever gone, it's back in full glory. But don't overexert your little mush, I still have times to be ever so weary of, so it won't be all regular like the beta mueslis, no way to that I always say. Don't cry for me because I do it for you, stepping outside and mingling with such filthy things. You are too brave....or very stupid.

Forgotten Wind

2006-05-09T10:29:00.000+08:00

I'd left it on, for the incase. But I left it there when I left the room. Returning some minutes later, the cry went unnoticed. There was something calling out to me for help. It screamed as much as it could. But it was barely a whisper. Striding past, I noticed it sitting there, all turned on like. Then I realised it. I was killing the fan; placing it too close to the laundry basket, it couldn't breathe. Not because anything smelt, no, because it could not suck like a fan should suck. I leant down and I did what any sane normal person would do. I rescued the little rascal. Breathing freely, I felt it gush all around me. "Ding Dong" went the door bell. I turned it off and cast it away. Opening the door, I did not know what to expect. But no one was there. How strange it was. I looked around and then I looked down. A parcel lay there on the porch. Unlocking the door, I luckily was slow because has it would unsurely happen, I saw the midget like parcel post van screeching it's wheel as it zoomed off away from here. Something tells me they forged my signature, but oh well. I did recieve all the goods but next time. Next time I will slap them with a tissue and demand retribution!

Squawking Hard Killed The Muse.

Don't Expect Anything More

2006-05-07T11:37:00.000+08:00

I'm doing it right now. I've been doing it since the last one ended. I'm fighting the urge. But it's so strong. And that damn avril song "slipping down the slide, I did enjoy the ride, don't know what to decide; you lied to me lalalalalalaaaaa...." It haunts me, taunts me. How can I resist. By being strong that how, who asked you, you did, nuh uh, I am you, and? like thats, just shut up, fine.

Yes, I keep getting the urge to do another. Another Finger Porn vid. But I'll hold it back. I won't let it come forth and disturb you...well not that you'll see it (But you will, sis hehehehe) No worrys, it shan't be happening anytime soon..........

Sleeping Hurts

2006-05-06T17:05:00.000+08:00

I dreamt I went ouside. Why? I don't know. But I did it. I left the house to venture in to the back yard. It wasn't mine, no it was a bigger one. But thats not the reason. Eventually I found a weak torch. Yes, it was weak and I was pissed off about it. So, there I was. In the cold, nearly dark, darkness of the night. I was compelled by some strange force to walk on the grass and so I did. I knew full well that spiders come out at night as others come out in the day. I only had socks on (my feet; I was fully clothed!) and I saw it. The essence of my nightmares. It was ginormous and it was filthy. It had legs and eyes and it was there, alive. How dare it, thats what I wanna know? How dare it take up residence in my brain. Anyways, it didn't move, but I wanted to spray anyways. But that meant leaving it there, giving it opportunity to escape into the darkness. What was I to do. Well i had no choice. Out of nowhere, somewhere beneath the Satanic Spider, was a hissing Scorpion. My light light up it's red flesh and it knew I was gawking. Freaking out I paniced and just stood there, hoping it would not see my blinding flesh. In the night, I still can be seen quite clearly, I am so white lol. But it ran. It ran at me and I was running. I got up on to the back veranda but no, my sister was on the ground. Slow as hell can be she wouldn't do anything and just cried for help. Miraculiously my socks turnd into my slip-on flip-flops (thongs for the normal people lol) and I squished it. Yes I feared it would plunge that tail spike and kiss my foot. But I said no and made it sure that i would squish it's entirity and nothing less. The end.

Moral: There is always something there to remind me that going outside is suicide lol

"Get Over Yourself" i Said

2006-05-04T11:15:00.000+08:00

Ok, So I was there in class doing it right. But that thing I've dubbed MonkeyGirl was watching every move. bossing me around like I was incapable. At first I thought she was just bossy or had developed a hard scaley outer shell to repel others with, but no. It's just sexism. She's a sexist. That's right, you heard me, don't take offence when I haven't finished yet. So this other day, we were looking at stuff and out of the corner, came the remark, "So that's why men get bladder infection often?!" Not really wanting an answer because she undoubtably had to be correct, but the teacher looked at her and frizzled. What was that little monkey thinking; she's so superiour because she's a female. Not Happy! Thankfully, the teacher took her down. She ran at her like a daring bullet and slammed that unknowledgable chimp to the ground...with her next remark. "Well, it's actually easier for females to get a bladder infection because the urethra is so much shorter in females..." blah blah blah. Stunned in a shock of disbelief, she could not understand the horror. I just smiled with glee and went about my business. She is a dirty, selfish little chimp.

The Legs

2006-05-04T01:34:00.000+08:00

Making dinner, as such consumes my life, was tormented and harshly interrupted by the most horrid and undeniably scary thing that could have found itself happening at that moment. I reached in far and deep. It was right at the back because someone had placed it there. Not naming names, I pulled it out gently and with quite a bit of ease I might add. But I was fooled. Walking across I had my fingers in it. I delved into its curvaceous walls towering high above it. My fingers rubbing, dragging across the surface. I placed it beside me, but I did not let it go. Everything ready; everything perfect, I entrusted my vision to allow it to occur. Tongs digging. Tongs pulling. Tongs sweeping through the untamed air to place a special gift within the depths of the bowl. Screeching to a halt I paused. Frozen in the midst of it I couldn't hardly understand the incoherent disbelief. There, in the bowl was a Daddy Long Legs. Hideously it crawled, trying so desperately to climb and escape. But the walls were so high, even those legs could not reach. Still there, screaming through my unopened mouth, I saw the food hanging. It hanged there prepared for the placing, but the spider was in sheer frantic horror. Was it about to be crushed and eaten? I think not. No, I finally overcame the shock, the dirty filthiness of the situation and placed the food back in the pan. But I could see it moving. It moved so close I screamed louder through my cheeks. My teeth began to tremble with the high-pitched force. The spider was moving towards my fingers; of which were still holding that retched bowl. There, in more than deep enough, the spider found sanctuary; freedom from the strange, white depression it did not realise existed atop the mountain of ribbed edges where they slide perfectly together. Swiftly I moved my arm. I threw my arm in the away direction, for I could not bare its devilled flesh touching, groping, violating my skin, or I surely would cross the line into complete insanity. I giggled, I wiggled and I threw my fingers in the sink. Scubbing them clean, I remenisced and interpreted the mistake. So I’ve learnt my lesson. Putting my fingers deep into the gaping holes, delving in to the dark places with no protection; well it surely will not happen again.

Not Happy

2006-05-02T22:18:00.000+08:00

My nanna nap was interupted. Not happy! plus I wan't good enough to win the prize. Not happy! Filthy pork for dinner. NOT HAPPY!

Oooo Look, Trash!

2006-05-01T00:49:00.000+08:00

Crazed ponies with turnip swollen eyelids, flapping the profanity all over the court; do not speak the truth. Truth be told, an estranged man and his child friend were wandering. I saw it with my peeled eyes. I was looking that way and noticed it. There was a bush and he knelt next to it. That RatChild ran all over the darn place like a spatulated chuppa-chup on fire... he was "normal" challenged. In the any spent times that hideous man of nearly nothing beyond the ordinary and so nearly oblivious to the Brad and Lisa radar, well, he picked up the trash and took a souvenir! That's right, how could you be fooled? Twisting your tongue like a fork on a spoon, I said "he, picked that can up, pulled the ring off and put it in his pocket; pushing that can back into the underbrush." We were in a fit. Giggles and laughter were the only cure. Was that the weirdest thing ever? Wait, there's more. So we thought it was over and that it would be treasured like a memory but he dived in! HE DIVED RIGHT IN THERE! It was so disturbingly disgusting beyond reproach! I still can taste the horror seeping from my scorned eye sockets. In to the bin he did dive; arm....shoulder....HEAD! Fishing for more trash; his beloved souvenirs of his time spent outdoors. It was the weirdest most terrifyingly disturbing thing ever. No, he was not homeless and he was clean like the filthy red eyed man of soap clean stench. It was beyond reproach and that's all there is too it.

He’s Special Now

Criminally Labelled

2006-04-29T00:54:00.000+08:00

They're coming to get me! Any day the door will bash down and fall to the floor. Yep, the door will hit the floor. It's outrageous isn't it!? Well it goes like this... I get youth allowance (cos I study and don't work so the Government give me money to study)...So I told them everything, or at least I told them what they needed to know and nothing further....But alas, they call on the telephone and speak about reviews. Damn I scream I never told them that...what, that thing neither **DaH Dah dAAAAAAh**** So now I'm gonna tell em about ING and the interest I've been earning from their payments and how extremely poor I still am because they pay real lousy. But still; knowing they all have sticks up their bums, they're gonna end, cut, cancel my payments.... That is, unless I can get to one of them and use my personal hypnotic persuasive ways of manipulation and go googley eyed and bash my eyelids LOL, not that last part, no..I sAiD NO! But I will manipulate and if all goes as planned, I will be here still for ages n ages. Yep, Don't fiddle with the transperancy of lies, They are thinner than air. But really I wasn't lying, no, because it's still their money and they never did ask how many accounts I have, no they ask if I have an account and I say yes, so really I don't lie like a beadle purple murkin in the wild. The end.

Next.

Stalking Me; It Is Not!

2006-04-28T17:19:00.000+08:00

I dared to do it and I risked it all. I delved into the unclean and fished for the plug. I couldn't find it so I got out and ran around screaming like a loon "My sooner the gated branch can't pee!" Yes. I stepped outside and I tried to pick up a coin lying there, stretched out skankily...sunbaking... on the road. That disgusting thing had the nerve to cling to it's newfound home like sentimental value had been placed there (mistakenly, obviously). Believing the road of filthy, dirt ingesting germs was it's mother from which it birthed. But my nibble, twig-like fingers were unable to pick it up and too much time, effort and exposure took no shortcuts or buttered jam straight to the brain. It caused slight insanity...just a 24 hour bug, so there is no overproportionate problems to stalk me like I was something special.

I Couldn't Think

2006-04-27T10:51:00.000+08:00

Just thought I'd let you know. My fingers are snapping off it's so darn cold! Thats right, but it keeps the metabolism high so thats a good thing - I can eat Macdonalds hehehe. Nothing has happened, i'm so traumatised. My brain; lacking that which nurishes the personality and encourages the impulses. Oh, I'm sure I'll think of something dareing and so down right riskful to liven up the mood.

It Had The Nerve

2006-04-25T13:39:00.000+08:00

Singeing my eyes like they should be so worthy I saw it there so unrecongising. How rude not to remember me it should be their honour to have been known by one so obviously superior. But no, that Crippled SoyBean was lost in translation, dyeing her hair and eyebrows I might add! It was dirtier than ever and yet I spoke that things' name. She did not moove and she was not going to look, but something twisted her neck. As she strolled away and hobbled down the 3 steps of the lecture room; how disgusting she was to do it. She turned back to look right at me! Beyond reproach such traumas are and I can't believe it happened so near. She was only a metre away! I washed myself when I got home, don't you worry about that!

It Was So Worth It

2006-04-24T17:34:00.000+08:00

As if it wasn't enough to be having the fun, no, it turned around and smacked me in the face. I was busy torso twirling and crazy grudge walking when I realised something was off. No it wasn't the cheese, or that horrid shoe in the corner behind the couch. No it was something more sinister. i had stretched the mucles i know nothing off and they were in a wrong twist. Screaming at me for disturbing their stagnated slumber, like the fat ones that won't move. And now I suffer. Sitting and getting up...even sneezing and blowing my nose is a trauma. But I have to go to Uni anyway. i can't afford to miss out on the boringness that ensues such an event and as such, i may just have a trauma there and live to tell the tale! You'd like that, wouldn't you? To see me react to such a mundain situation of normalest things. Do not deny, your as purple as a fig!

You Missed Out

2006-04-20T15:18:00.000+08:00

The G-Rated Finger Porn is no longer working...That means no one bothered to download it and watch it's hilarious depiction of a finger relieving it's tingles. I know it does sound so filthy beyond reproach, but trust me, it was nothing more than a barrel of laughing monkeys. Do not lie, you are the prickled thorn.

I Just Have To Do It

2006-04-19T12:00:00.000+08:00

I scrubbed it hard
I scrubbed it long
Lathering it up
I made bubbles of foam.

To clean it good
And make it worthy
No more gunk
No, don't be dirty.

I had it washed
It's all pricked up,
Now sucking the surface
Makes it plump up.

There you have it
The feet are keen
Walking is fun
On carpet; now clean.

The ProFANNYty

2006-04-17T16:19:00.000+08:00

We were both there, minding our own business. The car was purring and cranking with the gear changes, when Lisa discovered she was being intruded. The viol thing could not be described any other way. It was a Fanny Vent. Down there with no other purpose but to air out her snatch; raping her innocence. But to the unworthy, we were able to swivel it up to close off it's penetrating ways.

Slice It With A Nail

2006-04-16T19:31:00.000+08:00

Ok, So I was there. I was doing it nice a perfect like and all was normal to the point of unknowingness. But to become an unforging sap, It lept up and dove down. Down, down, down it flew. The wind whistled as it wooshed through the inbetweens and before the second had erupted to untagonistic proportions; It sliced through and drew the blood so dearly. That is right. I was putting a bed spread out on the line, when out of no where, my left foot lept up and fell down, gashing my achilles heel to reveal a network of blood vessels and allowing them to gush out their warm, red treasure...just a little.

Iam fine and it is all good. I slapped my foot for being so naughty and it knows never to do it again.

It's Finished

2006-04-15T15:30:00.000+08:00

Oh, yeah I forgot to mention. I did finish it. Of coarse you probably know, but yes the MidgetSoup site os put to bed and done. It's a sad thing to let go, but I'm sure it'll go mouldy in no time.

Nothing New Really

2006-04-15T15:24:00.000+08:00

I'm sorry I did it again. I didn't update like I said I was gonna. Do you know what happened? Well it was like this. i was here typing and saying stuff that I was going to do. But then, and this is the turning point, I walked out to the kitchen. Yep, that's right I was there and so was the TV. Gosh that thing is the devils maker. And to be even more interupted, Ellen was on. It had just started! Oh it is the most hilarious day show...yep, you know it's repeated like 4 times a day, but I keep watching anyways :)

So thats what happened. I walked away and I forgot to come back. Sorry. Anyways, I'm going over to Lisa's tonight. No, it's not like that. But I've realised that she is a sneaky little cheek. I wasn't eating the filthy Macdonalds chippies because that's how I got fat before eating those darn things. Just the burger is fine for me - So I will stand tall and not eat those blasted things.

Have Fun :)

The Me Behind Me

2006-04-12T21:52:00.000+08:00

Wow, I made it. You know I so lazy; yeah I'll admit it. Sorry for the delay's but life is so hectic. I have to wake up, and then I have to be awake! Seriously, what could be more important??

Anyway, I'm writing this side as myself, not the hermit, but the hermit is still inside me so it's kind of still the hermit... I'm moving on. Oh! Shock, The horror! no but I've wrtten so much in character, I just wanna write this as the day to day thing with all those boring, normal things people do. You know, yeah thats right!

Ok, So I'm real sorry for the delay's in my writtings (www.midgetsoup.blogspot.com) but tests and all things procrastination wise have interferred. I will write one more now ok. But I will only have one more after that. I want people to know it'll continue, because I'm still here, but not there so much. I'm too confusing, am I not?