Wednesday, May 31, 2006

XMEN 3... It Was Trash

I am appalled at the lame attempt at creating a sequel for the X-Men films. Sign the awesome petition below:

http://www.petitiononline.com/25052006/petition.html

Sign it and make them pay for this trash they (the studios) released.

You don't have to read it all, just sign it.

Thursday, May 25, 2006

It Tasted So Foul

Lisa knew not of what they were. I thought it couldn't happen. But she pushed it forward through her unclenched teeth. Who is this woman? Does anyone recognise the trauma? I see the picture, but it's not all the same inside I say. She pushed these "Chicken" sticks into her mouth as chowed down on them. Admitting they were dirty and tasted unlike any chicken she'd ever tasted, I tasted it too. She told no lip-locked secrete lie. In fact they were so dirty, I almost puked, there, on the lawn of the uni right near a lonely professor Lisa has a crush on. Yes, she thinks he's in the hotting up for her n stuff. I think, just calm-it-down already. Anyways, I discovered the pure essence of those dirty sticks. There were no chicken. That monstrous midget-troll hybrid lady did squeeze so hard and long to extract her pimmple's pus and then deep fried it! She is beyong reproach. I was then able to push my germ-phobia aside and suck taste the on Lisa's coke for I truely needed to rid my buds of those untastey treats.

Monday, May 22, 2006

Still sick. but it's getting better. Still Not Happy Jan about it though. Got some flem now, oh it's so marvellous...not.

Bye

Friday, May 19, 2006

I'm Sick Ok

I've got the sickness
It's scratching at my feet.
Don't speak to a tree,
Not unless it feels the beat.

Stick it to a Turtle,
Lay down with a sloth.
Moss grows in the breeze
But so does the moth.

I say to you the missing one
How can there be life
But nothing makes it worthy
And a teddy takes a swipe.

Believe in it below
You shall seek the evil ears
But if you fool the day
You will only have tears.

By Brad Westphal (c) 2006

Wednesday, May 17, 2006

Holy Hell No!

I was whipped fowards and lashed back. There, in the matter of the seconds I had experienced my first real crash. No I wasn't the cause; don't give me those looks, I was the passenger thank you so very much for thinking my learner-ish-ness would be the sole cause. Still not happy, but anyway, Lisa was cruising along and I noticed that other car. Thinking they would stop, wouldn't they?? Well hell no, they just kept rolling, just kept rolling, just kept rolling, rolling rolling, thats what they did, they rolled, rolled rolled. And #@!CRASH!@# Lisa had a big bump in her frontal regions. of course the BullBar made sure that other car was bearly even scratched. Skanky old prune with it's BlingBling dangling. Simply reacting more than 2 seconds after I realised the whole truths "Oh, No! (sigh)" he said. Then had the nerve to say, "I didn't see you, were you there?" Of course we were you snailing old geezer! What kind of retarded snail would snail trail it's way across the road? Yeah, your supposed to use the accelerator to go faster, not drive at 5 Kmph! Snail! i think he was doing 8Kmph because we were unable to react in time. I did feel my heads fake wig part flomp forward and it was scary because I thought I was there with a now open head. (No I don't have a wig, I say the part top of the head that can move all wig like)

Monday, May 15, 2006

Stalkers For You And Me

Unanounced they sat there. Across the road staring at me. I knew not of their decended precence. I knew only of the tauma to come. And they sat there in the bushes, snorkling through the leaves. I went for the test; so nervous I thought I'd fail. I said I'm sorry cos the car somehow it did stall. Still gawking hard, They saw me leave. Like a running chicken, they kept up with the fleas. Bouncing high above so I could not see. I turned my head and checked the way, it was clear. i turned the car and zoomed away, I thought of the things I had to do. But trailing behind, my stalker, stuck like glue. She zipped and dipped, in and out. The crevices hide her twigness, like the canyon holds the tea. Blissfully unawares I completed the test. But to thyne tearful surprise, I guess I'll never pass. One day I'll be old and crippled and in the mail i'll recieve; Some plastic card, only to be remove because of my aging ways. No old people on the roads, Not for you, no way. But then I discovered the truth. She was watching then. i knew she was the curse. The curse of uneven paraleythigrams. Yes. It was she, the Shadow in the Corner. At The Centre She saw and stalked me. i refuse, I said, and no way to that. Slapping the book right back.

Don't Fret, The Scorn Is Not Going.

I Did Do A Little Slip

You probably don't know or you do? I wouldn't ever know I don't believe. You don't speak to my ears, but my face...you are weird. I'm back to the point. I think it makes sense to do both and saw what I said as me and myself. I am both you know. Yes. So I will try the time and make the posting double. Double you say, there is but only one. Use your eyes ever so wisely and they will weep, for that thing you thought forever gone, it's back in full glory. But don't overexert your little mush, I still have times to be ever so weary of, so it won't be all regular like the beta mueslis, no way to that I always say. Don't cry for me because I do it for you, stepping outside and mingling with such filthy things. You are too brave....or very stupid.

Tuesday, May 09, 2006

Forgotten Wind

I'd left it on, for the incase. But I left it there when I left the room. Returning some minutes later, the cry went unnoticed. There was something calling out to me for help. It screamed as much as it could. But it was barely a whisper. Striding past, I noticed it sitting there, all turned on like. Then I realised it. I was killing the fan; placing it too close to the laundry basket, it couldn't breathe. Not because anything smelt, no, because it could not suck like a fan should suck. I leant down and I did what any sane normal person would do. I rescued the little rascal. Breathing freely, I felt it gush all around me. "Ding Dong" went the door bell. I turned it off and cast it away. Opening the door, I did not know what to expect. But no one was there. How strange it was. I looked around and then I looked down. A parcel lay there on the porch. Unlocking the door, I luckily was slow because has it would unsurely happen, I saw the midget like parcel post van screeching it's wheel as it zoomed off away from here. Something tells me they forged my signature, but oh well. I did recieve all the goods but next time. Next time I will slap them with a tissue and demand retribution!

Squawking Hard Killed The Muse.

Sunday, May 07, 2006

Don't Expect Anything More

I'm doing it right now. I've been doing it since the last one ended. I'm fighting the urge. But it's so strong. And that damn avril song "slipping down the slide, I did enjoy the ride, don't know what to decide; you lied to me lalalalalalaaaaa...." It haunts me, taunts me. How can I resist. By being strong that how, who asked you, you did, nuh uh, I am you, and? like thats, just shut up, fine.

Yes, I keep getting the urge to do another. Another Finger Porn vid. But I'll hold it back. I won't let it come forth and disturb you...well not that you'll see it (But you will, sis hehehehe) No worrys, it shan't be happening anytime soon..........

Saturday, May 06, 2006

Sleeping Hurts

I dreamt I went ouside. Why? I don't know. But I did it. I left the house to venture in to the back yard. It wasn't mine, no it was a bigger one. But thats not the reason. Eventually I found a weak torch. Yes, it was weak and I was pissed off about it. So, there I was. In the cold, nearly dark, darkness of the night. I was compelled by some strange force to walk on the grass and so I did. I knew full well that spiders come out at night as others come out in the day. I only had socks on (my feet; I was fully clothed!) and I saw it. The essence of my nightmares. It was ginormous and it was filthy. It had legs and eyes and it was there, alive. How dare it, thats what I wanna know? How dare it take up residence in my brain. Anyways, it didn't move, but I wanted to spray anyways. But that meant leaving it there, giving it opportunity to escape into the darkness. What was I to do. Well i had no choice. Out of nowhere, somewhere beneath the Satanic Spider, was a hissing Scorpion. My light light up it's red flesh and it knew I was gawking. Freaking out I paniced and just stood there, hoping it would not see my blinding flesh. In the night, I still can be seen quite clearly, I am so white lol. But it ran. It ran at me and I was running. I got up on to the back veranda but no, my sister was on the ground. Slow as hell can be she wouldn't do anything and just cried for help. Miraculiously my socks turnd into my slip-on flip-flops (thongs for the normal people lol) and I squished it. Yes I feared it would plunge that tail spike and kiss my foot. But I said no and made it sure that i would squish it's entirity and nothing less. The end.

Moral: There is always something there to remind me that going outside is suicide lol

Thursday, May 04, 2006

"Get Over Yourself" i Said

Ok, So I was there in class doing it right. But that thing I've dubbed MonkeyGirl was watching every move. bossing me around like I was incapable. At first I thought she was just bossy or had developed a hard scaley outer shell to repel others with, but no. It's just sexism. She's a sexist. That's right, you heard me, don't take offence when I haven't finished yet. So this other day, we were looking at stuff and out of the corner, came the remark, "So that's why men get bladder infection often?!" Not really wanting an answer because she undoubtably had to be correct, but the teacher looked at her and frizzled. What was that little monkey thinking; she's so superiour because she's a female. Not Happy! Thankfully, the teacher took her down. She ran at her like a daring bullet and slammed that unknowledgable chimp to the ground...with her next remark. "Well, it's actually easier for females to get a bladder infection because the urethra is so much shorter in females..." blah blah blah. Stunned in a shock of disbelief, she could not understand the horror. I just smiled with glee and went about my business. She is a dirty, selfish little chimp.

The Legs

Making dinner, as such consumes my life, was tormented and harshly interrupted by the most horrid and undeniably scary thing that could have found itself happening at that moment. I reached in far and deep. It was right at the back because someone had placed it there. Not naming names, I pulled it out gently and with quite a bit of ease I might add. But I was fooled. Walking across I had my fingers in it. I delved into its curvaceous walls towering high above it. My fingers rubbing, dragging across the surface. I placed it beside me, but I did not let it go. Everything ready; everything perfect, I entrusted my vision to allow it to occur. Tongs digging. Tongs pulling. Tongs sweeping through the untamed air to place a special gift within the depths of the bowl. Screeching to a halt I paused. Frozen in the midst of it I couldn't hardly understand the incoherent disbelief. There, in the bowl was a Daddy Long Legs. Hideously it crawled, trying so desperately to climb and escape. But the walls were so high, even those legs could not reach. Still there, screaming through my unopened mouth, I saw the food hanging. It hanged there prepared for the placing, but the spider was in sheer frantic horror. Was it about to be crushed and eaten? I think not. No, I finally overcame the shock, the dirty filthiness of the situation and placed the food back in the pan. But I could see it moving. It moved so close I screamed louder through my cheeks. My teeth began to tremble with the high-pitched force. The spider was moving towards my fingers; of which were still holding that retched bowl. There, in more than deep enough, the spider found sanctuary; freedom from the strange, white depression it did not realise existed atop the mountain of ribbed edges where they slide perfectly together. Swiftly I moved my arm. I threw my arm in the away direction, for I could not bare its devilled flesh touching, groping, violating my skin, or I surely would cross the line into complete insanity. I giggled, I wiggled and I threw my fingers in the sink. Scubbing them clean, I remenisced and interpreted the mistake. So I’ve learnt my lesson. Putting my fingers deep into the gaping holes, delving in to the dark places with no protection; well it surely will not happen again.

Tuesday, May 02, 2006

Not Happy

My nanna nap was interupted. Not happy! plus I wan't good enough to win the prize. Not happy! Filthy pork for dinner. NOT HAPPY!

Monday, May 01, 2006

Oooo Look, Trash!

Crazed ponies with turnip swollen eyelids, flapping the profanity all over the court; do not speak the truth. Truth be told, an estranged man and his child friend were wandering. I saw it with my peeled eyes. I was looking that way and noticed it. There was a bush and he knelt next to it. That RatChild ran all over the darn place like a spatulated chuppa-chup on fire... he was "normal" challenged. In the any spent times that hideous man of nearly nothing beyond the ordinary and so nearly oblivious to the Brad and Lisa radar, well, he picked up the trash and took a souvenir! That's right, how could you be fooled? Twisting your tongue like a fork on a spoon, I said "he, picked that can up, pulled the ring off and put it in his pocket; pushing that can back into the underbrush." We were in a fit. Giggles and laughter were the only cure. Was that the weirdest thing ever? Wait, there's more. So we thought it was over and that it would be treasured like a memory but he dived in! HE DIVED RIGHT IN THERE! It was so disturbingly disgusting beyond reproach! I still can taste the horror seeping from my scorned eye sockets. In to the bin he did dive; arm....shoulder....HEAD! Fishing for more trash; his beloved souvenirs of his time spent outdoors. It was the weirdest most terrifyingly disturbing thing ever. No, he was not homeless and he was clean like the filthy red eyed man of soap clean stench. It was beyond reproach and that's all there is too it.

He’s Special Now