Criminally Labelled

They're coming to get me! Any day the door will bash down and fall to the floor. Yep, the door will hit the floor. It's outrageous isn't it!? Well it goes like this... I get youth allowance (cos I study and don't work so the Government give me money to study)...So I told them everything, or at least I told them what they needed to know and nothing further....But alas, they call on the telephone and speak about reviews. Damn I scream I never told them that...what, that thing neither **DaH Dah dAAAAAAh**** So now I'm gonna tell em about ING and the interest I've been earning from their payments and how extremely poor I still am because they pay real lousy. But still; knowing they all have sticks up their bums, they're gonna end, cut, cancel my payments.... That is, unless I can get to one of them and use my personal hypnotic persuasive ways of manipulation and go googley eyed and bash my eyelids LOL, not that last part, no..I sAiD NO! But I will manipulate and if all goes as planned, I will be here still for ages n ages. Yep, Don't fiddle with the transperancy of lies, They are thinner than air. But really I wasn't lying, no, because it's still their money and they never did ask how many accounts I have, no they ask if I have an account and I say yes, so really I don't lie like a beadle purple murkin in the wild. The end.

Next.

Stalking Me; It Is Not!

I dared to do it and I risked it all. I delved into the unclean and fished for the plug. I couldn't find it so I got out and ran around screaming like a loon "My sooner the gated branch can't pee!" Yes. I stepped outside and I tried to pick up a coin lying there, stretched out skankily...sunbaking... on the road. That disgusting thing had the nerve to cling to it's newfound home like sentimental value had been placed there (mistakenly, obviously). Believing the road of filthy, dirt ingesting germs was it's mother from which it birthed. But my nibble, twig-like fingers were unable to pick it up and too much time, effort and exposure took no shortcuts or buttered jam straight to the brain. It caused slight insanity...just a 24 hour bug, so there is no overproportionate problems to stalk me like I was something special.

I Couldn't Think

Just thought I'd let you know. My fingers are snapping off it's so darn cold! Thats right, but it keeps the metabolism high so thats a good thing - I can eat Macdonalds hehehe. Nothing has happened, i'm so traumatised. My brain; lacking that which nurishes the personality and encourages the impulses. Oh, I'm sure I'll think of something dareing and so down right riskful to liven up the mood.

It Had The Nerve

Singeing my eyes like they should be so worthy I saw it there so unrecongising. How rude not to remember me it should be their honour to have been known by one so obviously superior. But no, that Crippled SoyBean was lost in translation, dyeing her hair and eyebrows I might add! It was dirtier than ever and yet I spoke that things' name. She did not moove and she was not going to look, but something twisted her neck. As she strolled away and hobbled down the 3 steps of the lecture room; how disgusting she was to do it. She turned back to look right at me! Beyond reproach such traumas are and I can't believe it happened so near. She was only a metre away! I washed myself when I got home, don't you worry about that!

It Was So Worth It

As if it wasn't enough to be having the fun, no, it turned around and smacked me in the face. I was busy torso twirling and crazy grudge walking when I realised something was off. No it wasn't the cheese, or that horrid shoe in the corner behind the couch. No it was something more sinister. i had stretched the mucles i know nothing off and they were in a wrong twist. Screaming at me for disturbing their stagnated slumber, like the fat ones that won't move. And now I suffer. Sitting and getting up...even sneezing and blowing my nose is a trauma. But I have to go to Uni anyway. i can't afford to miss out on the boringness that ensues such an event and as such, i may just have a trauma there and live to tell the tale! You'd like that, wouldn't you? To see me react to such a mundain situation of normalest things. Do not deny, your as purple as a fig!

You Missed Out

The G-Rated Finger Porn is no longer working...That means no one bothered to download it and watch it's hilarious depiction of a finger relieving it's tingles. I know it does sound so filthy beyond reproach, but trust me, it was nothing more than a barrel of laughing monkeys. Do not lie, you are the prickled thorn.

I Just Have To Do It

I scrubbed it hard
I scrubbed it long
Lathering it up
I made bubbles of foam.

To clean it good
And make it worthy
No more gunk
No, don't be dirty.

I had it washed
It's all pricked up,
Now sucking the surface
Makes it plump up.

There you have it
The feet are keen
Walking is fun
On carpet; now clean.

The ProFANNYty

We were both there, minding our own business. The car was purring and cranking with the gear changes, when Lisa discovered she was being intruded. The viol thing could not be described any other way. It was a Fanny Vent. Down there with no other purpose but to air out her snatch; raping her innocence. But to the unworthy, we were able to swivel it up to close off it's penetrating ways.

Slice It With A Nail

Ok, So I was there. I was doing it nice a perfect like and all was normal to the point of unknowingness. But to become an unforging sap, It lept up and dove down. Down, down, down it flew. The wind whistled as it wooshed through the inbetweens and before the second had erupted to untagonistic proportions; It sliced through and drew the blood so dearly. That is right. I was putting a bed spread out on the line, when out of no where, my left foot lept up and fell down, gashing my achilles heel to reveal a network of blood vessels and allowing them to gush out their warm, red treasure...just a little.

Iam fine and it is all good. I slapped my foot for being so naughty and it knows never to do it again.

It's Finished

Oh, yeah I forgot to mention. I did finish it. Of coarse you probably know, but yes the MidgetSoup site os put to bed and done. It's a sad thing to let go, but I'm sure it'll go mouldy in no time.

Nothing New Really

I'm sorry I did it again. I didn't update like I said I was gonna. Do you know what happened? Well it was like this. i was here typing and saying stuff that I was going to do. But then, and this is the turning point, I walked out to the kitchen. Yep, that's right I was there and so was the TV. Gosh that thing is the devils maker. And to be even more interupted, Ellen was on. It had just started! Oh it is the most hilarious day show...yep, you know it's repeated like 4 times a day, but I keep watching anyways :)

So thats what happened. I walked away and I forgot to come back. Sorry. Anyways, I'm going over to Lisa's tonight. No, it's not like that. But I've realised that she is a sneaky little cheek. I wasn't eating the filthy Macdonalds chippies because that's how I got fat before eating those darn things. Just the burger is fine for me - So I will stand tall and not eat those blasted things.

Have Fun :)

The Me Behind Me

Wow, I made it. You know I so lazy; yeah I'll admit it. Sorry for the delay's but life is so hectic. I have to wake up, and then I have to be awake! Seriously, what could be more important??

Anyway, I'm writing this side as myself, not the hermit, but the hermit is still inside me so it's kind of still the hermit... I'm moving on. Oh! Shock, The horror! no but I've wrtten so much in character, I just wanna write this as the day to day thing with all those boring, normal things people do. You know, yeah thats right!

Ok, So I'm real sorry for the delay's in my writtings (www.midgetsoup.blogspot.com) but tests and all things procrastination wise have interferred. I will write one more now ok. But I will only have one more after that. I want people to know it'll continue, because I'm still here, but not there so much. I'm too confusing, am I not?